And so it begins.

A chance encounter with Jimmy Buffett in the French Quarter gave Santiagoville it's theme song. Once upon a time, the original front page of Santiagoville had "Millennium" by Robbie Williams playing. It was white, with a sexy picture of Santiago dressed in his jeans and a Count from Sesame Street shirt. The last version played the Darth Vader theme as it beckoned you inside with these words:

A torch to light your way as you descend into Hell...

Careful! Watch where you step. Don't bump into that-- Too late. Well, the stain will come out. Slowly, slowly as the candle lights your way to dusty Death. What am I saying? It's really not that dusty here. Okay, it is, but we like it that way. And I am Death. Hahahahahahahahaha... Like a seven layer burrito, the circles of Hell unfold before you...

Welcome to Santiagoville

A Sultry Outpost in the Depths of Hell

This is the Vampire Santiago's Personal Hell... BE NICE OR LEAVE

My eyes see everything...now look, look deeply... what do you see? If you feel a chill crawl up your spine and are ready to swoon rapturously into the embrace of the vampire, please, go view my other website: Theatre de la Mort. This is the humorous site.

Warning! New Santiagoville is Rated R! Those who are easily offended or under 18 years of age beware! These pages may or may not depict sex, violence and other atrocities of Hell, although they will *always* be humourously presented! What do you want? I'm a vampire! A big... bad... MEAN vampire! Boo! And I got tired of censoring myself to accommodate the general public. This site exists for my personal amusement and that of my friends, and when it ceases to amuse me, it will disappear, like so many one-horse towns in Hell that have passed before.

How appropriate all those words still remain.

A few other moments in Santiagoville history include:

Reconstructed and rebuilt July 13, 2000 (Happy Birthday, Harrison Ford) through August 8, 2000. Expect regularly scheduled maintenance only when inspiration strikes.

Fresh paint and more irritating music: October 8, 2000

::sniff:: we finally become a .com and add email: Friday October 13th, 2000

The e-mail has since been done away with, and namezero, the free domain host, is a bitch to deal with...they ended their service -- no more www.santiagoville.com. Awww!

One of the last incarnations of Santiagoville (with the purple stars) also offered some introductory words. These were posted as a response to what was going on in Santiago's unlife at the time, and also parodying another website which offered "Introductory Words." They are still valid in so many ways, so let them be displayed here as part of our history and a warning for our future...see scrolly above.

Once past the three-headed dog which guarded the gates of Hell, visitors to Santiagoville v.2 found themselves in a tropical port. Santiagoville is still, to some degree, a tropical port. That index was chock full of genius:

Where is Santiagoville?

It's in the Depths of Hell somewhere between the Port of Pain and Southwest of Panic, but no parallels of latitude or longitude mark the spot exactly. You don't have to be a vampire to get there. Most people arrive quite simply by accident... Skeletal trees provide the camouflage. Howling winds bring the spiraling planes and funeral barges, tourists, travelers and victims. Passports are not required. Disco music rules. No waiting lines for anything. There is a swamp and a graveyard perched on the edge of the crimson sea where you can always find a sea monster. There are lots of lies and loads of stories. It's a comical concoction that blends together like blood, whips and chains. Where is Santiagoville? It's in your mind...It’s in this website.

If you know where that's adapted from, I'll give you a hundred simoleons... You're also probably the person I want to spend Saturday night with.

¡Mi infierno es tu infierno!

After a time, Santiago needed some assistance:

This is my new evil advisor, Iago. Every tropic port has parrots, don't they?

"That's it, I've had it! I hate to be dramatic but it's time for me to fly the coop. Terrific, fine! I'm drawing the line before I wind up in a parrot soup. I was a fool to let you run the show. I'm cutting you loose, pal, look out below! C'est la vie! Hope all goes well. I'm looking out for ME."

And yet genius never stops Santiago from ordering demolition and reconstruction... Hopefully the evolution of Santiagoville has made it more user friendly, more fun, and more interesting.

The orange theme came into play after Santiago got sick of the lightning bolt theme in Novmeber of 2001. Early in 2002, it started raining eyeballs, but now things are looking a little bloodier. How long will it last? Wait and see... a nifty new addition at this time was the scrolling java menu. Ahh, you loved the convenience, didn't you? Too bad it went bye-bye! The menu on the left seems to be easy enough to manage, however...

We hope you have enjoyed your little tour through Santiagoville history. There is, of course, much more to say, but don't worry...you'll be among the first to know when I say it.