| Frequently Asked Questions
I always thought Santiagoville was pretty self-explanatory, and that no rules were
necessary. As my reign as King went on, I began to realize that there is indeed a time and
place for such things, and so this FAQ was born. Although I still feel that there should be
more chaos than order, a few simple answers will probably make everyone happy and we
can all get back to business. Besides, when there are rules, someone will always break
them and then I’ll get to throw them in the dungeon, which always provides some
amusement. So, here we go. If you have any concerns which are not addressed here, too
bad. Er, I mean, drop me an e-mail and I’ll
look into it.
Q. What is Santiagoville?
A. Santiagoville, also known as the Happiest Place in Hell, is a sleepy little town located in
the depths of your most vivid nightmares. It is populated by vampires, mortals, witches,
ghosts, dogs, cats, monkeys and other assorted goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween.
Like every small village we have a beautiful cemetery, a tiki bar, a volcano, a shopping mall, various
haunted castles, a lake full of sea monsters, a swamp full of corpses, a dungeon, a stable, a
zoo, and other assorted businesses. It’s a playground for the dead, undead, the
wish-I-were-dead, and the soon to be dead. There’s something for everyone! And to
accommodate myself and the other vampires, it is always nighttime here.
Q. Who in Hell is Santiago anyway?
A. I'm Harrison Ford.
Q. No, seriously.
A. You're doomed to disappointment if you expect to find anything serious around here. Once upon a time, I was a minor character in Anne Rice’s “Interview With the
Vampire.” Now I am King, Lord and Master. Bow before me, hahahahahahahaha. I am a
handsome, witty and generous vampire. I am also known as Death, or Saint Death. You
can learn more about me by visiting my other website, Theatre de la Mort. You can access that from the menu to the left. But
basically all you need to know that this is my place. I’m in charge here.
Q. Didn't Louis kill you?
A. Rumor has it that Louis chopped off my head with a scythe and set my Theatre des Vampires on fire. Yet, somehow I escaped...otherwise I wouldn't be typing this, would I? Hahahahahahaha... How did I escape? That's proprietary. They don't call me Trickster for nothing...
Q. Will you make me into a vampire?
A. No.
Q. Can I become a resident of Santiagoville?
A. Of course. All are welcome here. However, you’re still subject to my approval. I rarely ask anyone to leave, unless you write something heinous or obscene on the
message board, or call me a buffoon. I hate that.
Q. How do I become a resident?
A. If you want to be a resident, click on the link at the left of this page and fill out the form. You must submit a valid e-mail address to do this.
Many of the questions on the form are mandatory, so be sure to answer them all. Please fill out only one form per e-mail address. If you decide you want to change what you submitted, send me an
e-mail and I'll delete your entry so you can make a new one. Please do not write anything rude. I will delete rude comments and double entries. If you have more than one e-mail address and want to have more than one identity, that's fine with me.
The dreambook will show residents in the order that they registered rather than by the newest, so if you don't see your entry after you post it, it is probably because it is at the end.
This book is not meant as a guestbook for guestbook comments, so please restrict your entries to comments about your new home.
Dreambook is limited to 150 entries, so when this one fills up I will close it and build another one to prevent anything from getting erased.
Once you have moved in via the dreambook, you're encouraged to go to the Town Center Message Board and start interacting with the other residents.
Q.Why didn’t you answer my email?
A. I was busy. I’ll get to it when I have time. Be patient.
Q. How can I apply for a job in Santiagoville?
A. Employment is now included on the residency form in the dreambook.
Q. Do I really have to do any work if I take a job?
A. That is entirely up to you. It’s really all about having a good time -- if it’s fun for you, do something. Build a website, write a poem, draw a picture and send it to me. I'll display it somewhere.
If not, you can still have the job title. It also gives you something to talk about on the Town Message
Board.
Q. What exactly is the Message Board?
A. That’s where everyone in town meets to discuss their work and lives in Santiagoville. Tourists are welcome. We think you're delicious. Feel free to
jump into any conversation. We’re all friendly. Although, ahem, we do bite.
Q. What sort of behaviour is inappropriate for the message board?
A. I have upgraded Santiagoville from PG-13 to Rated R. Sorry folks, too many people wanted to get naked... However, all references to violence and nudity should be comedic. Think
Addams Family or Nightmare Before Christmas. No references to illegal drugs are permitted anywhere in Santiagoville. Also, personal attacks are NOT
permitted. If you have a problem with someone else, either contact them directly, outside
of the board, or contact me and I will speak to them. I am the only moderator of this
board. Play nice!
Q. Why didn’t you answer my message on the message board?
A. I try to read all the messages, but sometimes I don’t have time. Put my name in the
header if you want to be sure I’ll look at it.
Q. Can I go into the Santiagoville Chat Room?
A. Yes. The chat room, Santiagoville Tiki Bar, is open at all times to the residents and to the public. Feel free to announce scheduled chats on the Message Board. However, scheduled chats should be hosted by at least one Resident. Any Resident may feel free to hold a chat. When I hold a chat myself, I will leave a message on the message board and send an e-mail to my Topica mailing list (info on joining the mailing list is on the front of this website.)
Q. What sort of behaviour is inappropriate for the chat rooms?
A. While the chat rooms tend to be a little wilder than the Message Board, please be aware that there may be minors in the chat room. I do not want to ban any particular sort of behaviour, but I will if I get complaints. Also, no one may be purposefully excluded from chats held in any of the Santiagoville chat rooms.
Q. What if someone's behaviour offends me?
A. First, leave the chat room. Then, write to me, stating exactly what happened and why it bothered you in as clear of terms possible. Let me know when and where and who else was there. I will conduct an investigation and determine what if any sort of action needs to be taken. I hope we can avoid these situations as much as possible. I want everyone to be able to have a good time. This is about making friends...and I know not everybody will like everybody else, but hopefully we can just ignore those people that get on our nerves. Santiagoville is for everyone to enjoy.
I hope this provides a greater understanding of the nature of this beast. If you have further
questions, drop me a line or just jump in with
both feet. I’ll be waiting for you...there...in my castle...
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