Estella Bolger was absolutely exhausted, but sleep seemed almost beyond her now. She lay in her corner of the big bed next to Merry. Pippin and Diamond were on the other side of Merry, and the three of them were all snoring happily away. Well. Someone was snoring, anyway, and Estella was too tired to think about which one of them it was. She wished she was too tired to think about anything at all, but there was one item which was plaguing her mind.

Faramir of Ithilien was here in Rivendell!

Pippin and Diamond would be able to marry at last. Estella mulled this over in her mind and found that it bothered her only a little. The emotion of jealousy was merely a ghost. The past twenty-four hours had taught her much, and one of the things that she had learned was that her love for Pippin had been obsession, unsubstantial and unfounded. She still thought he was a particularly wonderful Hobbit, but Meriadoc Brandybuck had won her heart.

Merry had been magnificent. He was brave and heroic, and he had looked after her all throughout the ordeal they had suffered. He seemed to have genuinely come to care for her. He definitely had come to desire her. As for love… she wondered if she was in love with him. Maybe this was what falling was. Maybe the trick was not to push, or to rush, but to let things happen naturally.

Estella wondered how exactly one did that.

She also wondered if Merry would hate her when he found out about her big lie. She had thought she would have more time to tell them all the truth, but with Faramir in Rivendell, she was going to be exposed very soon. She should wake Merry up and tell him now.

What would she do if he was angry with her, if he came to hate her? She did not think she could bear it. The thought kept her awake, made her toss and turn. What to do? How to solve the problem? The obvious answer was completely unappealing, but she knew deep down in her heart that there was no other way.

Estella slipped out of the bed and padded out to the terrace. Perhaps some fresh air would help her to sleep. She was wide awake, despite the exhaustion of her body. The blanket which Merry had set up yesterday was still there. The chrysanthemums he had picked for her lay in a wind-tossed heap. They were wilting, as they had not been put into a vase with water. Estella picked up one of the blooms and brought it to her nose. She inhaled the sweet scent deeply, then dropped it back down with the others.

She looked out over the garden. Men and Elves were working together to restore it for Lord Elrond. They were removing the carcasses of the dead Uruk-hai and attempting to put the flattened beds of flowers and herbs to rights. Estella saw Elrond slowly strolling through, offering words of gratitude, direction and encouragement as he went.

He paused at the base of his statue, which had been broken into many pieces. She saw him stoop and pick up one of the pieces. He stood there looking at it for a very long time before finally letting it fall back down to the ground. He bowed his head and stood there for another long moment before Gandalf approached him with Faramir and distracted him.

Estella turned to go back inside and saw Diamond standing in the doorway. The other Hobbit smiled at her and Estella smiled back tentatively.

"Why aren't you resting?" Diamond asked gently.

"I have a lot on my mind," Estella admitted. "Why aren't you?"

"I heard you get up. I was worried." Diamond came over and put her arms around Estella, pulling her close. Estella relaxed immediately, giving in to the comforting gesture. She put her head on Diamond's shoulder and sighed. Tears began to well up in Estella's eyes. Diamond stroked her hair. "Do you want to tell me what's bothering you?"

"I'm afraid you'll hate me," Estella confessed. Once her jealousy had passed, she had come to realize that she wanted Diamond to like her.

"I promise I won't."

"I did something terrible," Estella said. She let go of Diamond and looked at her desperately, trying to read the other Hobbit's thoughts.

Diamond frowned slightly. "I'm sure you can't have done anything that bad."

Estella took a deep shuddering breath. She opened her mouth, then closed it again. This was so hard. She broke away from Diamond and turned towards the railing at the edge of the terrace. She looked out at where Elrond and Gandalf had been, but they were gone. Only Faramir stood there now, conversing with one of his Men.

Diamond came over and stood beside her. "I won't push you."

"Thanks."

They stood in silence for several minutes, then Diamond spoke again. "That is Prince Faramir, down there by the statue…or where the statue used to be."

"Yes, I know," Estella said, her voice barely a whisper.

"I love that name," Diamond mused. "Faramir."

"It's very…" Estella tried to be polite but guilt was consuming her. "Diamond, I have to tell you-- I've told a lie. A very, very big lie, and for a horrible reason."

Diamond looked at her sympathetically. "What is it?"

"I'm not really supposed to be going to Ithilien."

Diamond raised an eyebrow, but aside from that her expression did not change. She did not seem angry… yet. "No?"

"No. I made that up, so that I could come on this journey with all of you."

Diamond smiled. "That's not such a bad thing, though I imagine we've had a bigger adventure than you intended."

"The reason…the reason I did it…" Estella trailed off. She bit her lower lip.

"So you could be near Merry? I understand that."

"No…"

"No?"

"I did it…so I could be near Pippin." There, it was out. Estella waited for the explosion, but Diamond simply replied slowly.

"I see."

"But everything's changed now! I did some awful, awful things -- I admit that I wanted to come between you and Pippin. I've known him my whole life and wanted him for a very long time. Then suddenly Merry changed everything. I'm sorry, Diamond. I'm very sorry."

Diamond smiled gently. "I'm not angry with you."

"You're not?"

"No. If Pippin wanted another… I would let him go."

"You would?" Estella was confused. "How could you?"

"I chose Pippin…but he chose me as well. If he didn't, well, we wouldn't be together even now," Diamond explained. "You can't force anyone to love you, Estella. They do, or they don't. I learned that the hard way."

"I guess we have more in common than I thought."

"We do. We really do." Diamond hugged her again, and Estella hugged her back. "And Merry is crazy about you. I want him to be happy -- and I think you make him happy."

"I want to," Estella said. "I'm only afraid he'll be angry with me when I tell him."

"Tell me what?" Merry said from the doorway.

Estella started guiltily and let go of Diamond. Diamond smiled at her encouragingly. "I'll leave you two alone so you can talk," she said. Diamond kissed Merry on the cheek and slipped past him back into the bedroom.

Merry smiled tiredly at Estella. "Did you get any sleep?" he asked as he came forward and put his arms around her waist.

"No, not really," Estella said. "I probably should try to go back to bed."

"If you like," Merry said amiably. He paused for a moment. "What did you want to tell me?"

Estella felt her cheeks heating up. She liked being in Merry's arms, and she did not want to ruin this moment. She looked deeply into his dark blue eyes, wondering if this would be that last time he would hold her this way. And yet she had to do it -- she had to.

"I'm not really going to Gondor," she said in a small voice.

"Thought not," Merry said. He grinned. "Good."

"Good?"

"Yes. Now you can come back to the Shire with me."

Her eyes grew round. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes. Very much. Isn't that what you want, too?"

Estella nodded and echoed Merry's words. "Very much. But, Merry, I feel awful. I lied to you. I lied to everyone."

"I know," said Merry, "And I don't care. None of that matters, Estella. What matters is how we feel right now."

He bent and kissed her, taking her lips passionately. How easy it was to give in to him. How sweet it was to open her lips beneath his. To touch her tongue to his. To let her body awaken to desire. He was such a good Hobbit. How could she have overlooked him for so long? What had been wrong with her?

A loud cough came from the doorway. Estella looked up to see Pippin standing there. He folded his arms over his chest and glared at them. "How could you, Estella?"

She flushed and felt Merry grip her a little more tightly. "I'm sorry."

"Pippin!" said Diamond from behind him. "Come back in here. Leave them alone."

"I'm sorry, Angelica, but I can't let this go," Pippin said. "You lied to us, Estella. You wanted to break Diamond and me apart."

"Pippin," Merry said in a warning tone.

"Keep out of this, Merry."

"I think you should keep out of it, Pippin," Merry said fiercely. "She knows she made a mistake, and she's sorry. Let that be enough."

"It's not enough," Pippin replied bitterly. "I have never led you on, Estella Bolger. I have never given you any hope that anything could come to be between us besides friendship, have I?"

"No," Estella whispered. Her cheeks were burning with embarrassment at Pippin's anger. She wanted to run, wanted to hide, wanted to sink into the floor of the terrace and disappear.

"You should have stayed in the Shire where you belong."

"Pippin!" Merry said again. "I'm glad that she didn't. If she hadn't come with us, then I never would have been able to find something like what you have with Angelica. Don't you want me to be happy?"

"I think you would be happier with someone who wasn't a liar," Pippin said.

"Peregrin Took, leave her alone," said Diamond, sounding angry. "She made a mistake. Everyone makes them -- I know I've made plenty. Merry's right…he deserves some happiness."

Pippin turned to face Diamond. "Of course he does. And he can be perfectly happy the way things are -- just the three of us. He doesn't need a lying, conniving female playing games with him."

"I'm not playing games with him," Estella whispered.

"I think you should leave," Pippin told her shortly.

"She's not going anywhere! Maybe you should leave, Pippin," Merry said hotly.

"Merry!" Diamond gasped.

Pippin lifted his chin up. "If that's what you want."

He turned and stormed off of the terrace. Diamond reached out for him as he passed her but he shrugged her aside, and a moment later Estella heard the door to the bedroom slam. Diamond stood there, looking stunned and hurt.

"I never meant for this to happen," Estella said. "Maybe Pippin is right. Maybe I should leave. I can head back to the Shire."

"Alone? No," said Merry. "It's too far, and too dangerous. Besides, you're not going anywhere without me."

"I can't believe Pippin is acting this way," Diamond said. "It's not like him at all."

"He'll get over it," Merry said gruffly. Estella swayed in his arms. She was so tired. "Come on, love, let me get you back to bed. Don't worry about Pippin. He'll come around."

Merry steered her back to the bed and helped her climb into it. Estella looked at him and Diamond gratefully. She closed her eyes and listened to them talking softly together.

"I should go after him," Merry and Diamond said at once.

"I shouldn't have told him, I guess," Diamond said. "I never knew he'd be this angry at her. I thought it would be easier if he heard it from me. I didn't think it would really even bother him. I thought he'd be happy for you."

"I should think so, too," Merry said. "Let me talk to him, Angelica. Please."

"All right, Merry. If anyone can talk some sense into him, you can."

Estella rolled over and let her tears slide down her cheeks into the pillow as Merry left the room in search of his cousin.