Isilwen took particular care with her hair and gown as she prepared herself to go to Lord Elrond's victory banquet. She asked herself why she was bothering to make herself look nice for a bastard like Haldir of Lorien, and found there was no simple answer. Well. Actually, there was one simple answer, and that was that she was in love with him -- completely, totally… but at the moment, she did not care very much for that answer.

She had seen him, with her own two eyes, lying naked in bed with Legolas Greenleaf. Perhaps Legolas had still been in his leggings, but certainly not for long. She had seen them kissing. Erestor had told her they were lovers, and he never lied to her. Haldir had told her they were not lovers, and she had believed him because she had wanted to…

Isilwen had heard him promising to leave Rivendell with Legolas. It was true enough that this had been what Elrond intended for him, but she had preferred to think he went not so eager to be with Legolas, but because he was commanded. She could not believe that he meant for her to go with him as well. And if he did, she could not bear the thought of having to share him with Legolas. And what about Ciendriel?

Isilwen wondered if she should tell the princess what she knew. What would Ciendriel say if she knew Legolas was back in the arms of Haldir? Isilwen knew that if she was in the place of the princess, she would want the truth herself, no matter how much it hurt. Perhaps she could speak to her tonight at the banquet.

"Have you finished primping yet?" Erestor asked from the doorway. Isilwen turned around and glared at him. "We are going to be late."

"We have never been late to any of Lord Elrond's banquets. Indeed, we are nearly always seated before another soul has yet to arrive!" she said with frustration.

"What a foul mood you are in, sister. Whatever could be wrong?" he smiled slyly.

"Nothing is wrong."

"Lying does not become you. Has this something to do with Haldir? Do not think I had not noticed that you sneaked out again last night, but returned in a very small amount of time."

Isilwen felt her cheeks redden. "I am surprised you did not come after me, if you knew I was gone."

"I did not care to have my life threatened again. I thought perhaps it might do you some good to learn a lesson about him on your own."

She hung her head. "Perhaps I have learned, indeed."

Erestor glided over to her and enfolded her in his arms as he had not done in a very long time. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes to keep back the tears that threatened to spill. He stroked her hair with more patience than she might have expected from him.

"I have tried to protect you from him all along. Everything I do comes from love, Isilwen. We are the only family each possesses."

"I know, Erestor. I know," she whispered.

"I forget how much you have grown up. I suppose I am still trying to make your decisions for you."

"Yes, you are. But I do not wonder if truly you do not know what is best after all," she sighed, not wanting him to let go of her. She needed this comfort.

"I will try," he said very, very slowly, "To stop interfering."

Isilwen laughed, but it was not a bitter laugh. She lifted her head and peered up at him. "Truly?"

Erestor scowled. "Do not make fun of me, Isilwen. I meant it."

"So if I tell you I intend to run off with Haldir of Lorien and his brothers--"

"Do not make me regret my words before they have even cooled!" Erestor said, letting go of her and scowling even more deeply.

Her own smiled faded. "It is all right. As it stands, I will probably go with you into the west."

He arched an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Again her cheeks heated. She did not wish to tell him of her shame. "I…I have come to care very much for Haldir, but… I do not think he returns my affections."

"I think he does, as much as he is able to," Erestor said stiffly.

"You do?"

"Do not think that this means I am encouraging you to go to him. I simply saw in him some emotion of which there was never evidence before."

"But I saw him with Legolas Greenleaf last night," Isilwen said before she could stop herself.

"Love comes in many forms, Isilwen."

She was not entirely sure what that meant. "You are a fine one to speak of love, Erestor."

He smiled sardonically. "Perhaps that is so. In any event, perhaps you have come to see what Haldir has truly offered you: a space in his bed and some fondness, perhaps. But you wish for more, do you not, little sister?"

"Yes…I do wish for more."

"You deserve it."

"Thank you," Isilwen said gratefully.

"Do not settle for sharing him with anyone. I truly wish you to come with me."

"I know you do."

"Isilwen, there is something I must tell you."

"What is it?" she looked up at him with concern.

"I spoke with Lord Elrond this afternoon about you, and about Haldir of Lorien. Haldir went to see him last night."

"He…he did? Truly?" Isilwen felt her heart rise in her chest. He did care about her, she knew it. How quickly she ran from cold to hot. She wanted to have faith in him. She wanted to believe he cared for her. And yet she was full of fear. She knew the roads he had traveled in the past, and…and what about Legolas? Was there some other explanation to what she had seen?

"Yes, just after we left him, I believe."

"Oh." So that was before she had gone back to his room. Again, her hopes were dashed. Still, she attempted to cling to them. "Go on."

"Lord Elrond offered you as a wife to Haldir, and proposed that he should come with us into the west."

Isilwen felt faint. "He did? Are you very angry?"

Erestor sighed. "How can I be angry? That would mean that I stood in doubt that a decision of Lord Elrond might be wise."

"You do doubt, however, that Haldir will make me a good husband," Isilwen said. It was a statement, not a question.

"That is neither here nor there. Isilwen, listen to me. I have more to say."

"Did Haldir accept?" she whispered. In her heart she already knew the answer would be in the negative. After all, she had heard him promising to depart with Legolas Greenleaf.

"Haldir asked that Elrond allow you to travel with him, instead, and remain in Middle-earth."

"What did Elrond say?" her spirits lifted somewhat. At least Haldir meant not to be rid of her. Hope remained.

"He has not made a decision yet. I believe he will speak with you tonight."

Isilwen nodded, her mind racing. It pained her that Haldir had not accepted Elrond's proposition. What a joy it might have been to sail into the Undying lands at his side, and with Erestor, and Elrond. And surely Orophin and Rúmil would have come as well. After all, they would never abandon Haldir. She would have all those she loved with her. It was a beautiful dream, and it meant everything that this was what Elrond wished for her.

Yet, Isilwen had heard Haldir admit to Legolas that neither he nor his brothers wished to leave the Middle-earth. Were their feelings not equally as valid as her own? He did speak for her, did ask for her to remain with him. Did they really need to be wed? Legolas and Ciendriel were not wed and they kept each other's company very well. Except, of course, for the fact that Legolas was apparently sleeping with Haldir and-- oh! Isilwen was terribly confused.

"Let us go to the banquet, then," she said softly. "I trust in Lord Elrond."

"Isilwen," Erestor said, taking her hand gently, "Perhaps it is time that you trust in yourself as well. Look upon your heart and ask it if Haldir is truly the Elf who can make you happy."

Her immediate reaction was that he was, and that no one else ever would make her feel as Haldir of Lorien did, but she spoke this thought not aloud to Erestor. She merely nodded and kept his hand in hers and they turned and made their way to the banquet hall. As usual, they were among the first to arrive, but they had been beaten by Elrond, Gandalf, Bilbo, Frodo and Faramir. There were also a dozen Elves who were preparing the tables, pouring wine, and readying the hall for the feast.

There was no sign of the blood which had been shed there. The banquet hall sparkled as if it were under an enchantment. Suddenly Isilwen found her spirits lightening and she began to anticipate the pleasures such an evening had to offer. After all, Elrond's banquets were legend.

He had taken great care with the seating arrangement, and as usual, she and Erestor were at the high table. Faramir sat at Elrond's right hand, and next to the Prince of Ithilien was Gandalf, then Bilbo and Frodo. Doubtlessly the rest of the Hobbits, when they arrived, would be seated next to their kin. Elrond beckoned Erestor to him and explained the rest of the seating to him, for often the Chief Advisor guided those who came after them to their chairs.

Erestor would sit at Elrond's left hand, then Isilwen, and Haldir. Orophin and Rúmil next to their elder brother, then Legolas Greenleaf, Princess Ciendriel and Gimli the Dwarf. Isilwen saw that Erestor was pleased with this seating arrangement, for he hated the times when he was not seated next to Elrond. It was a matter of pride with him. Isilwen was both nervous and glad about sitting next to Haldir. Perhaps she owed him the chance to explain what she had seen…

Once he had finished speaking with Erestor, Elrond turned to Isilwen and smiled at her. She felt her heart pound in her chest as he did. He touched her face gently.

"You know what I wish to speak to you about, do you not?" he asked softly.

She nodded. "I believe so."

"I wish for you and Haldir to be wed, and come with us into the west."

Isilwen could hardly breathe. What a tender dream his words seemed. "I would like that, myself. But, forgive me, Lord Elrond. I believe that Haldir does not wish to go."

"He will go if he wishes to be with you," Elrond said.

"And if I wish to remain here with him?" Isilwen dared.

Elrond shook his head slightly. He opened his mouth to reply, but before he could, Legolas, Ciendriel, Gimli and the Hobbits arrived at the table. Patting her hand, Elrond turned his attention away from her. Isilwen sat down in her assigned seat next to Erestor and waited for Haldir to come. Orophin and Rúmil arrived, but he was not with them.

"We have not seen him since yesterday," Orophin confessed.

"Oro needed some sleep, so we went straight to bed," Rúmil said wickedly.

"Sleep! Who could get any sleep with you around?"

Rúmil elbowed Orophin in the ribs. "Why are you not with our brother, yourself, Isilwen?" he asked. "I thought for certain he would have seduced you by now."

"Rúmil, you are terrible," Isilwen said, blushing.

"We know you like him," Orophin added. "Such a pity. Really, you ought to give yourself over to us instead."

"If only I thought you really wanted me," Isilwen said, teasing. They always managed to lighten her spirits.

"If only we thought you really wanted us," Rúmil replied, raising an eyebrow at her.

The food was served, the wine poured, and their merry chatter distracted her from the fact that Haldir was still not present. Elrond had noticed it as well, and Isilwen sensed irritation in him. She glanced around the room. The assembled company of Elves and Men were in high spirits. The day and Rivendell had been saved and now it was time to feast and despair no more.

The meal finished, and dancing began. Isilwen danced with Orophin, then Rúmil, then Legolas, who was a very stiff dancer and needed to be led. She wished she could join in the dances of the Hobbits, which seemed far more free than the well-traveled patterns of the Elves, but she was too concerned with the missing Marchwarden to truly give herself over to it. Besides, she suspected that Erestor would not consider Hobbit dancing appropriate, and she did not wish to put her brother in a foul mood when he had been so kind to her today.

When Legolas returned her to the table, Elrond pulled him aside, and Isilwen looked for the princess. Gimli seemed to be bending her ear, and when she caught Isilwen glancing her way, she made an excuse to the Dwarf and jumped up. Linking her arm through Isilwen's, Ciendriel smiled at her.

"Come, we have had little chance to speak to each other. Let us have a few words now."

Ciendriel led her over to the windowsill and they sat down upon it. Isilwen took in a deep breath of the cool night air. This was her chance to tell Ciendriel what she had seen yesterday, but she did not know if she could bear to do it.

"Of what did you wish to speak?" she asked politely.

"Forgive me, but Gimli is deep into his cups and I could not bear to hear the tale of how he bravely led the Fellowship through the Mines of Moria one more time," Ciendriel sighed. She let her eyes travel over the frame of the window. "Legolas was nearly killed by the Uruk-hai as he tried to climb out of this window."

"I am sorry."

"He was beaten very badly," Ciendriel said. "I thought we would never be able to leave tomorrow, though he kept insisting that he wishes to go. It was good that Haldir gave him that salve yesterday. His bruises are nearly gone."

Isilwen drew in her breath. "A salve?"

"Yes, Haldir is very good with herbs. I could have made it as well, but I had not the ingredients and I was hesitant to ask Lord Elrond with so many others needing their wounds tended. Legolas went to speak with Haldir last night and he had some on hand, which he applied to the bruises. I must tell him how grateful I am for his care of Legolas."

This explained it, did it not? All but the kiss… perhaps Legolas had merely given the kiss in gratitude? It seemed like more to Isilwen. She chewed her lower lip.

"Haldir cares deeply for Legolas," she murmured.

"And Legolas cares deeply for Haldir. So do I." Ciendriel paused for a moment. "Will you be joining us on our journey? We leave tomorrow at dawn."

"I do not know."

"Haldir wishes you to come."

"Lord Elrond wishes Haldir and I to sail to the west."

"Oh, I see," said Ciendriel. "This is a dilemma, indeed."

"I saw… I saw Haldir kissing Legolas last night," Isilwen blurted out.

A slight blush came to the princess' cheeks and she smiled. "Did you? Would I had seen it myself. There is great love between them, but often they do not know how to express that to each other." She paused. "Legolas told me. He is often tempted by Haldir, you know. But do not fear this… I do not."

"I cannot understand how you can give him such…freedom," Isilwen said.

"I must. I can only love Legolas so long as he comes to me freely. I trust you do the same for Haldir." She smiled slightly. "Haldir told Legolas that he loves you."

"He did?" Isilwen felt faint and nearly fell out the window herself. Joy flooded her. Ciendriel took Isilwen's hands in her own.

"Do you love him as well?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Then I wish you well. Come with us tomorrow. Obey your heart, Isilwen."

"And disobey Lord Elrond?" Isilwen whispered.

Before the princess could reply, Haldir entered the banquet hall. Elrond got to his feet and lifted a glass, waving a hand. The music stopped playing and the dancers paused.

"Ah, he arrives at last," Elrond said jovially. "Join me in drinking a toast to Haldir of Lorien, a great hero in my eyes."

Haldir inclined his head gratefully to Elrond, but his eyes searched the room. When they fell on Isilwen, she knew he had been looking for her. She bent and kissed Ciendriel on the cheek.

"Thank you," she said to the princess, then got up to hurry over to the side of the Elf that she loved.